Anonymous asked: my wife and kids left me

blendedofficial:

Great Question!

BLENDED is the perfect film for the whole family! It hits theaters nationwide May 23!

captainslutdrop:

krazykitsune:

uncle-jessie:

facebook does not appreciate me

it’s okay we appreciate you here

does nobody else see the ‘facebook’ pun here???

captainslutdrop:

krazykitsune:

uncle-jessie:

facebook does not appreciate me

it’s okay we appreciate you here

does nobody else see the ‘facebook’ pun here???

(Source: frodbaggins, via thisseamonkey)

jonathan:

what do you mean it’s inappropriate to have Highway to Hell by AC/DC at my funeral

(via always-tickle-a-sleeping-dragon)

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

(via geothebio)

tylenold:

the people who like say ‘1 second has passed’ when ur like ‘just give me a sec’ are the people u need to avoid and sacrifice to the aztec gods

(via pinturasnegras)

(Source: 7u7, via haaaaaaaaaaytham)

thechelby:

zecretary:

OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY Y EYE I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN AND THREW MY TRASH AT HER THIS IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY LIFE

but not as embarrassing as getting mistaken for a trashcan

(via lowwbloods)

lameborghini:

school taught me a lot of stuff but mostly it taught me how to get ready in 15 minutes

(via makebelieve-andreveries)

sparrowwitharrows:

nerds-are-cool:

i-is-andy:

should I open the door

you should open the door


love is an open door after all

sparrowwitharrows:

nerds-are-cool:

i-is-andy:

should I open the door

you should open the door

love is an open door after all

(via makebelieve-andreveries)

ruinedchildhood:

DONT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE

ruinedchildhood:

DONT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE

(via thisseamonkey)

easterbunnymundlover:

leviisacutelittleshit:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

beggars-opera:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

easy there henry

whos henry what thef uck?

*faint laughter from Britian*

image

(via thebeatenpathisbeatinfast)

a-soft-suicide:

tupacabra:

a soulmate is a person that won’t complain about any of my music when i put my ipod on shuffle

i complain about my own music when its on shuffle what are you talking about

(via thisseamonkey)

australian-government:

john green have had enough of your shit

australian-government:

john green have had enough of your shit

(via always-tickle-a-sleeping-dragon)

When I just made a double kill and I see a third enemy

gifs-of-legends:

image

(via msgeniuspa)